Beertown USA

HOWDY folkerinos!

I’m finally back to kick some tail, as they say in Donkey Kong.

Not really, just here to report on a March trip down to one of the coolest places in a 100-mile radius (it’s 86.4 miles to be exact) of my parents in Bristol, VA. And there are a lot of cool places in that radius!

But this one is probably the most well-known, of KEEP IT WEIRD fame, and possibly the beeriest township I have ever seen: Asheville, North Carolina.

Here is a short recap of the neighborhood that we explored, the South Slope Brewing District. So ye be warned, we came this time to… pretty much… DRANK!!!

Map of the area. (The star is our hotel location to where we explored, the South Slop Brewing District.)

Next time, I want to do River Arts District (great art, on the water, close to the Grey Eagle live music venue, that 12 Bones Smokehouse Obama loves), but I’d like to go back when it’s a bit warmer. Greener. You know? Maybe do some thrifting and hiking.

THE JOURNEY

I landed in Asheville from NYC at around

1 pm, after flying out of the beautiful Newark Airport. I forgot my work laptop, which I realized mid-transit on the 3 train so had to turn around and grab it. On the way back, worried I was going to miss my flight, I tripped and fell. YES! I ate shit. My laptop went flying. My hand was scratched up, but not as bad as my kneecaps, which I was sure had become shards of bone floating around like a broken plate.

But my golf-ball sized knees and I managed, by the grace of GAWD, to make the flight. The golf balls solidified as I sat for an hour and it was hard to stand back up. But I ordered a bloody Mary to keep up the blood theme and moved on.

See my hand to the left. Knees not pictured.

THE ARRIVAL

The Asheville airport immediately smells like Cinnabon, and there is always a pianist playing there, at least when I’ve been there, so you can say it’s not a bad welcome. My mom and sister were waiting for me and the piano in the background made our reunion that much more dramatic. Very my-life-is-a-movie. Too bad no hotties on the flight with me.

Anyways, my father/chauffer (just kidding dad) drove us to the hotel, the Renaissance Asheville Downtown. It was really pretty, and there is a cool outdoor glass-ceilinged area that my mom said is beautiful in the spring. After tossing our bags into the room, we went to do what we came to do. DRINK!!!

Do we walk to South Slope? (only about the 15 min walk to the area we were going, but it looked like rain.) Drive? Meh. Well, we got lucky, because there was a college basketball tournament in Asheville that weekend. There was this old-fashioned trolley waiting in the hotel turnaround that would drive us for free. ***(see bottom)

Us on the trolley! LOL. totally alone... VIP status baby..

It was SOOOO bumpy, but hey it was free, and the driver was nice, answering any questions we have about Asheville. It really reminded me of Savannah or going on formals with fraternities to New Orleans or Nashville. Especially since my dad brought a plastic cup of vodka on to pregame.

THE BEER & FOOD

The driver dropped us off at Little Chango first because we were STARVING.

I really wanted to go here because I love arepas, and the food did not disappoint! It’s SO delicious, and it’s a good size to start a day of drinking- not too much food to where you’re already full and can’t really get drunk, but enough to get a buzz off the first two beers until you inevitably want to order some snacks at one of the next stops! The outdoor seating is nice, plus I had an amazing gluten-free beer from Ginger’s Revenge, which actually has a South Slope lounge that we (sadly!) didn’t make it too! I will definitely visit when we go back.

Arepas: Chorizo, Ropa Vieja, and Pernil. Also amarillos with queso fresco!

After Little Chango, it made sense on our route to go to the Funkatorium, which is the “experimental” branch of Wicked Weed. It’s all sour beers which I love personally but is a CHOICE! It was fun to see the flavors usually reserved for porters or stouts translated into SOURRRR (by professionals of course, don’t try this at home).

Our flights:

We loved all of them, but the Framboos Morte was a favorite. Also the Silencio and Ruido, those you definitely don't see every day!

Mom and me outside in the beer garden area.

Next, we went back up towards the hotel, first to Hi-Wire Brewing, which was pretty quiet but nice. One beer here. Then we went to Asheville Brewing Company, which had a more laid-back vibe for sure. The bartenders here were super nice, and we got the truffle fries, which were yummm. I had an interesting (and delicious) beer here, too -- the Fire Escape Pale Ale, described on the website as: Fresh and roasted jalapeno peppers added to one of our classic Pale Ale recipes to create a slightly spicy, deliciously unique brew. 🥵 (note: it wasn't really that spicy to me, so if you like spicy, you can handle!)

1 min walk later...

Ben’s Tune Up is in that area as well, and we were excited to try this place! It's a beer and sake garden. We all agreed this was our favorite drink (I think I got Horchata sake, the seasonal special). The place is huge, a really cool outdoor area that I can’t wait to come back to when it’s warmer!

Turned up at Ben's Tune-up 🤪🤪---->>>>>

We rounded out the night by going to Wicked Weed, not the Funkatorium, but the Brewpub location, where we got one more beer and then the brussels sprouts (SO. GOOD. You must get them.) Hannah and I had been here before and we also recommend the boiled peanuts. After that, we picked up some takeout (sorry, I can’t remember the name of the place, too many beers lol) and went back to the Renaissance to CRASH.

The South Slope Brewing District is a beer lover’s heaven, but there are so many other fun options as well! I can’t wait to go back to Asheville. Hopefully, it’s a longer visit next time, with some hiking and nature involved, but keep in mind we did this in one afternoon/night- it’s an awesome short trip, too! Everything being so condensed really helps.

Pick an area and GO!!

*** OK, so I do think this trolley was technically reserved for people staying at the hotel, going to the basketball games. We may have pretended we were going to basketball games at some point. But look how empty it was!!!!!

#travel #southeast #beer #brewery #smalltown