Book Discussion: I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

*I want to start this discussion by saying I can't speak on many painful topics in this book,

as I have never experienced them. This book is a masterpiece and I am forever grateful

to Maya Angelou for sharing her gift of storytelling with me, regardless.

I've tried to write what I felt comfortable with!*

I have had this book on my shelf for a while. I found it at Habitat for Humanity ReStore in college, and picked it up because it was a "classic." Picking up "classics" is something I tend to do, I like to see them fill my bookshelves and I like thinking that one day, I'll get around to reading them.. but I almost never do. The classics sit on my shelf, mocking me with their solidified excellence, full of long words and language that promises to go right over my head. This insecurity stems from trying to read "The Scarlet Letter" and being bored out of my mind in high school. Sorry, Nate Hawthorne, but I'll just watch "Easy A" next time...

And not only is Caged Bird a classic, but also an autobiography, some kind of "memoir," which is my absolute least favorite genre. How do you expect me to believe that you remember stuff from when you were 5 years old? Well enough to WRITE about it?!!? I can barely remember shit that happened yesterday. I tend to equate autobiographies with some sort of fiction, since these people have to be making stuff up.

Digging Deep

Last night, I racked my brains trying to think of a story to put in my autobiography, just to see if it was possible. I did actually manage to pull something from the depths.

It was elementary school, either kindergarten or first grade, and I decided out of the blue that I "missed my mom." I had seen other kids come down with this affliction and put on spectacular shows of crying and screaming. The teacher would comfort them and they got to be taken out of class for a minute or so, and sometimes, their mother even came and picked them up from school. The GENIUS of it all. The simplicity! It was towards the end of the year and I had yet to throw my tantrum. The clock was ticking. Time to blow this Popsicle stand.

So I started crying in the bathroom, big, fake crocodile tears and by the end of it I was actually convinced I needed my mom. I was impressed with my own acting until my friend Ashley walked out of the bathroom stall.

Ashley was tiny and bird-like; even at our young age you could tell she was one of those people that would be small as an adult. She asked me why I was crying and I said, (very convincingly, I thought), "I m-m-miss my m-m-mommy." In a voice that seemed to deep and wise for her size, Ashley replied, "But you haven't cried the whole year, Allison. Why are you crying now? Why now?"

Needless to say I felt very stupid after that. She was right. I wasn't fooling anybody, I just felt the need for some attention I guess. I tried to keep up the charade a little longer to see how my teacher would react, but she wasn't impressed, either. It was almost summer time and she was tired of the bullshit. #fail

Looking back now, I think of "Why are you crying, Allison?" and laugh to myself. It seems relevant to my life today. I'll write in my own secret journal more in-depth about what I think it means...

Why Did I Just Tell You That Pointless Story

It was kind of fun to try and remember something that happened when I was a kid. TRY IT! Reading "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings," I felt power and vulnerability in writing about your childhood. You feel more of a connection, a kinship of similar shared experiences. Everyone can relate to childhood firsts, the feelings of confusion and wonder; trying to figure out the world.

Now Back to the Book

The book was an easier read than I expected (thank the Lord). Angelou's writing is bursting with honesty, and clarity- she is not only a truly gifted observer, but a thinker as well, and she trusts herself. Many people get lost in thought all day, but their observations are often marred by self-doubt.

Honesty in writing can be hard to come by these days; I wish I could observe and report cleanly, without some sort of bias slipping into my writing, or some sort of people-pleasing undertones.

I found the parts about religion very interesting, and felt parallels with her grandmother and mine. Both are powerfully spiritual; I feel both admiration and intimidation from the pure force that is my grandmother. I also often (unfortunately) question the church and my faith and felt Maya Angelou may have the similar thoughts.

Quotes

• "Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with the deeper shades of meaning."

• "A stranger to the music could not have made a distinction between the songs sung a few minutes before [in church] and those being danced to in the gay house by the railroad tracks. All asked the same question: How long, oh God? How long?"

• "What child can resist a mother who laughs freely and often, especially if the child's wit is mature enough to catch a sense of the joke?" -this just reminded me of Scarlett Johansson's character in Jojo Rabbit. A fantastic movie, if you've never seen it.

• "There ain't never been a mark that didn't want something for nothing."

• "The needs of a society determine it's ethics." - maybe the wants of a society as well?

• "After hunting down broken bottles and selling them with a white girl from Missouri, a Mexican girl from Los Angeles and a black girl from Oklahoma, I was never again to sense myself so solidly outside the pale of the human race."

• "The miserable encounter had nothing to do with me, the me of me, any more than it had to do with that silly clerk... all lies, all comfortable lies. The whole charade we had played in that crummy waiting room had directly to do with me, black, and her, white."

• "As always, her major concern was to live the life given to her, and her children were expected to do the same. And to do it without much brouhaha."

• "See, you don't have to think about doing the right things. If you're for the right thing, you do it without thinking."

In Conclusion

EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS BOOK! I know, I know, many of you were required to read it in high school- give it a re-read! The writing is so beautiful and melodic; I want to know what you relate to most in the book, what really stood out to you. Maya Angelou paints a beautiful picture of her life, and it's jam-packed with adventure, ups and downs, laughter and tears. I am so happy I read this... *gulp* CLASSIC.

#books #reading #literature #mayaangelou #classic